Friday, January 28, 2011


Well to be a little more specific snowflakes. I was out in the woods today. Walking through snow up to my knees. It was nuts, but awesome. I was sitting on a log and watching the snow come down when a snowflake came down and landed on my jacket collar. I looked at it and it was one of the most perfect and beautiful things I have ever seen. It was amazing. To see all the little designs of each flake. I have never seen snowflakes so perfect in all my life. I just sat there marveling at each one as they continued to land on me. Beatiful does not begin to describe what they looked like. How intricate each one was.

It made me think about how awesome God is. How He made each snowflake so intricately beautiful. And if He created those snowflakes so beautifully and they would only last a few moments on my jacket, how much more beautiful ad intricate has God created each one of us. He knows us by name. Knows how many hairs are on our heads. How much more God has put into creating us than He put into a single snowflake. We are each so much more beautiful!! God is amazing and His love is so much more than enough for me. My cup is definitely overflowing right now, and I pray that it never ends.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

Compromise or complacency

Pick your poison, both are destroying the worlds view of Christianity.

I'll start with compromise. When we compromise our values, morals, or beliefs we compromise ourselves. It's not something that normally happens overnight. It takes time and normally start with something small. People don't go out and start by robbing a bank. They start with something small and it builds up. Casting crowns had it right by calling it a slow fade. I've been there. I've compromised and I've seen the staggering effect. That is why it is so important that we don't compromise. That we take a stand. Even when the people we think should step up don't. People who you might not think are watching see, hear, and remember. We might be the only interaction they have with a Christ follower.

What I don't get with compromise is the long term. And maybe it's just my new focus on giving God my best no matter what the cost, but how can we as Christ followers say we believe what the Bible says, but not follow it. I just don't understand it. And I think it's also my reading lately in the old testament. God wants our obedience. That means no compromise. Run from anything that is toxic or would cause you to compromise.

Now let's hit complacency. When we become complacent we become comfortable with things that are wrong and accept them as the norm. We can avoid complacency by looking at the world through Christ's eyes. I love the picture of Jesus going into the temple and turning over the tables of the moneychangers. It's such a powerful scene. The Israelite people had become complacent and Jesus literally kicked their butts. Complacency just kills our testimony because we just walk by and say it's ok by saying nothing at all.

We can't be ok with things that grieve the heart of God. It's not acceptable for us to say we are ok with things that are wrong. When are we going to talk to our friends about what we know they are doing that is wrong, and maybe self-destructive. It is worth it to say something, and it's wrong if we don't.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Stories, our lives are full of them. Each day we wake up and live our lives. We make choices that write our stories. A lot of times I get stuck in the pages of my life and forget there is a whole book with chapters still to be written. I don't always see the role I play in Gods story. You see my story isn't really my story at all. It's the story God is choosing to write about me. I can take the pen and write, but it always ends up bad. So I've chosen to give the pen back to God and let Him write my story. It's not always easy to give up control. But it is definitely worth it. Because I know Gods plan is better than mine. The parts of my story that I've written are covered in scribbles and erases and mess ups. In the coming chapters I look forward to seeing where God leads me as I let Him use me and control my life.

So I end with this. Who is writing your story?

Ramblings of a modern day Pharisee

Sunday, January 23, 2011


When people find out that I drive approximately 75 miles each way to church they ask me why, what's so special about that church. Well let me explain it here. I'll start from the beginning.

About 4 months ago I reconnected with one of my old friends Dan, from college. We talked and said we should hang out and he invited me to fellowship church in Glen Mills, where he is on staff. It worked out that I came to fellowship in October on the last Sunday of loveweek. This happened to be a special Sunday where the girls would be in the service with me. We got there and I could immediately tell there was something different, I couldn't tell exactly what it was, but it was different. The girls worshipped with me for the first time in over two years. In the middle of singing mighty to save I started crying because Anna and Sadie were standing beside me singing out with all they had that our God is mighty to save, and with tears streaking down my face I sang with them. Pastor Eric talked a little about what love week was and things they had already done that week. We were given the opportunity to go out and buy items for a food pantry. We were told we didn't have to as visitors, but I wanted Anna and Sadie to learn to give. How could they do that if I didn't model that to them? So we went and bought a few items and gave them.

This was the beginning of some serious lifechange for me. You see I was in a place where I didn't have very much hope. I hadn't been keeping my heart as close to God as I should have. So since then my daughters and I have been going back whenever I don't work Sundays. Now let me tell you what keeps me coming back.

1. Lifechange- I see my life changing because of the teaching and support I get from fellowship.
2. My daughters love going to church, and they remember what they learn there. Two stories to go with this. Today Anna told pastor Eric that the main service is boring and she loves the kids service, and Eric said that was great. He meant it too. Also just last week Anna was talking about when we went to acme and bought those items for the food pantry. She remembered 4 months later about what we did our first Sunday at fellowship.
3. Teaching- I love the teaching at fellowship. I have not walked away from a service without saying God spoke directly to me. It isn't just about what I hear on Sunday either, it's about the life application that happens throughout the week too.
4. People- from the moment I walked in I was blown away by the people at fellowship. Not just greeted, but everyone is friendly. Someone walked around with me and showed me where the girls went and helped me sign them in and then she called me during the week to see how things weeds and if I had any questions.
5. Music- the music is amazing. The whole band, led by Austin, is amazing. Weekly they lead us to the throne of God.
6. Staff- Eric, Dan, Austin, Ben, and everyone else is amazing. I don't know of a group of more passionate people. They are definitely changing the world for Christ. Everything is done with the thought of leading people to Christ.

I chose fellowship as my church, because the church made it impossible for me not to.

So in case you were wondering that's why.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Where do we go from here?

I can't even tell you how many times I've wondered this question and even asked it to friends and family members that I love. Life's twists and turns have brought me to a unfamiliar place. There have always been things that I thought would be constant, that would never change. Well I guess things change. Sometimes when I don't want them to. Sometimes when I think I want them to, then I think what in the world was I thinking. Was I temporarily insane? Did I really think this would be better? Did I truly count the cost of my decisions and indecisions? Did I think this through? I am the king of second guessing myself.

Well, there are a few things I would never second guess. Number one is my acceptance of Christ as my Saviour. I have never regretted that decision. I won't say it's always made life easy, but it has made life worth living. As I lay here listening to "still calls me son" by John Waller, i hear my life. I've drug Gods name places it shouldn't have been and I have known shame that no child of His should know. The only difference is I know with everything I am that when I turn my gaze to God He runs to me and He calls me son. Tells me how much He loves me.

I've gone through some things lately that have shaken me. There has been one constant to bring me through. My relationship with Christ, and when I have needed Him most He has come to me and comforted me in ways I didn't know possible. I have definitely been carried by God through all this. I guess I'm saying all this to say that I don't know what tomorrow holds for me. There could be multiple directions my life could take, and to be honest it scares me. But what scares me more is that I won't follow Gods best plan for me. So I'm giving Him everything I am, because if I expect Gods best I need to give Him my best. I used to think look at all I'm sacrificing for you God, isn't it enough? and I read my answer the other week in Samuel God
tells king Saul. I don't want your sacrifices I want your obedience. I always thought I could get by on my sacrifices and God really hit me the other week that my sacrifices are worthless without obedience. God wants my obedience first and everything else second.

Which brings me to the next awesome point. God has a plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 is my life
verse. Whenever I have doubted I just look at that verse and know God has a plan for me. To
give me hope and a future. So though I might not know what tomorrow holds for me. I know Who
holds tomorrow. I know God is in charge of my future, if I just obey him. If I give myself to
Him, and I mean all of me not just part. Then I can't go wrong, no matter what the next
chapter holds I will win, because I'll be faithful to God. And through my faithfulness God
will bless me. I'm not doing it because I'm looking for the blessings. I'm doing it because I
want Gods best for my life. I want Gods best for my daughters lives. I want them to know Jesus in a real passionate way. I want them to be in awe of God the way I am. And the means to that
end is to better than I am and the only way that can happen is with Gods help. So I look to
the creator of the universe who has a plan for my life.

So I'm sure you get the ramblings part now:) God is unfair and I love Him for it

What is beautiful?

God has just really laid on my heart that as a society we have trashed beauty with words like sexy and hot. True beauty isn't what we look like in the mirror. It's what we see when we look inside ourselves. It's what we find when we fall in love with God. For me its when I'm in the mountains and i sit by a stream and just listen. Because even the rocks cry out Gods praise, and when we listen, really listen we can hear their song to the Creator of the universe, who made everything and everyone beautiful.