I want to change the world

So I've spent a lot of time thinking, and I want to change the world. Now I know people will say what are you thinking? Who are you to think you can? Trust me I have the same doubts, but it's something God has called me to. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do. It's just something that has been impressed on my heart. I know if I tried to do it on my own I would fail. I have no clue what my future will look like, but I know my Father wrote it. And I'm learning daily that His love is all I need and His strength is more than I need for anything that comes my way.

The song blessings by Laura Story has been blowing my mind all week. I know with every fiber of my being that God loves me and wants the best for me. I also know I've done my share of screwing up and I've doubted Gods goodness. I've cried wondering what was going on why am I walking through this right now. I've also looked back and seen those have been the times when I've been the closest to God. Right now I'm in a place I've never been, and it's amazing. I'm more dependent on My Father than I have ever been, and I don't think it's a coincidence that the last few months have been some of the hardest I've ever faced. But at the same time God has blessed me beyond what I ever thought possible. And I know the future holds great things for me. So I'll be obedient and watch to see where God leads.

Because my Father loves me I can love, and it's with His eyes I want to see. So that I can love the way my Father loves

Direction

So one of the biggest challenges we all face in our lives is direction. Where are we headed? What are we doing? How are we getting there? And I'm not just talking about going someplace. I'm talking about life direction. I don't know for sure what God has for me for the next couple of years. I do know one thing though. The choices I make today affect where I'll be in the future.

Let me expound on that a little. The correct choices that I make and the incorrect choices that I make affect where I'll be in the future and what that future will look like. See I believe that when we accept Christ as our Saviour we get a little gps (God positioning system) called the Holy Spirit. And we can listen to that gps and follow where God wants us to go, which is the best way because God has an awesome plan for each one of his children. Jer. 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, give you hope and a future". But too many times we like to do our own thing and ignore the gps (I do this while driving all the time) and we hear recalculating. See God does the same thing when we step out on our own apart from His will. He recalculates. The Israelites had it happen to them in the Old Testament. They were afraid to enter the promised land because they heard a report from some of their spies that giants lived in the land. How quickly they forgot that God had just parted the red sea for them to all walk through it a few months earlier. Hello?? And they ended up wandering around the desert for 40 years. And Joshua one of the spies who said they should go in and take the land because the Lord was on their side. He ended up being the leader God chose to take his people back into the promised land those 40 years later, and what happened to all the people who didn't want to go in? In that 40 year time period everyone over the age of 18 died.

Kinda makes me acutely aware of the decisions I make as I face one of the biggest transitions in my life. I don't want to hear recalculating. I want to get their Gods way. And when I get there I want to hear well done, not dude what were you thinking back there when you made that left? So are you listening to your gps today?

Ramblings

Impossible

So I'm going to pose a question to start off this blog. Is there really anything that is impossible with God? I just finished reading Sun Stand Still today and over the last week it has changed my view of miracles and my view of faith. I guess things really started changing over the last few months and reading this book really helped me understand where I'm at. Fellowship church has really shaped my view on how God can work. I used to pray safe prayers and think maybe God would answer, but I'm learning to pray for things bigger than me and expecting God to make them happen. I'm exercising audacious faith.

I used to think the miraculous was something saved just for the Bible. That it didn't happen anymore. Now I'm thinking it has more to do with us having less faith then they did. Do I have enough faith to believe I can pray for impossible things and that God will answer them? God can do anything period. There isn't a but there. If we are faithful to God He will be faithful to us.

So I'm praying audacious prayers and expecting God to answer them. Already this year i've seen God work in my life in ways that I thought were impossible. So I'm praying bigger prayers now. And I'm expecting God to answer.

Ramblings

Challenging

So I've been reading the book Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick. Talk about amazing. Thanks for the birthday gift Dan. Just what I needed at this point and this transition in my life. God is challenging me to live as big as He is and not as small as I am. I'll be honest in the fact that I don't know what that looks like. I have no clue what God has for me next. And yeah I'm a little afraid. So let me give you a excerpt from this book.

"it's not wrong to feel fear. It is wrong to let that fear have the last word in your life. The people who accomplish the most astounding things for Gods glory aren't the people who feel the least fear. Often they're the ones who deal with the most intense fear. But instead of letting that fear disable their dreams, they start increasing their capacity for faith. They act on the part of Gods direction they do understand. And they leave the rest up to Him."

Talk about amazing. For so many years i have been held captive by the fear that I'm not good enough. that my past failures will hold me back from future successes. That I am less than I think I am. But I know I'm forgivable, I'm usable, and I'm lovely. When God sees me He doesn't look at what I've done. Rather He looks at what He can do through me if I get my stupid self out of my own way. So my Sun Stand Still prayer is that God will use me to reach people for Him in ways that scare me, in ways that get me good and afraid, because I know it won't be me being successful. It will be God.

God I pray that you will give me the faith to believe you can use someone as unworthy as me to change the world for you.

Rambling....

Servitude

So we went to two services at fellowship today. It was amazing. I went to the early service and saw a lot of the same people sitting around me. One of the great things it has offered me the opportunity to serve during the second service. I loved it. I was learning about hosting and security for our kids wing. You know, cause I'm so buff and intimidating. Hahahaha. Anyway, a lot of serving is about attitude and I say all this to say that my daughter Anna gets it. Anna hasn't been feeling good this weekend and I considered calling Dan and telling him I couldn't come. I told Anna and she said "daddy you have to go. You have training". If my 6 year old can get it and understand what holds us back as adults? She is excited about church. She cries when she can't go. So like I said before. It's all about attitude.

Ramblings....

I always wondered....

Growing up there were a lot of things I wondered about. For instance, why am I so much better looking than my three siblings? Hahaha jk. But seriously I always wondered why my grandma and grandpa Scharadin would wake up so early in the morning to read their Bibles. They would be up at 6 or earlier sitting out at the dining room table, at our house or in their chairs at their house. It always amazed me and until recently I didn't understand.

For me early morning is the time of the day when I am most awake. I read a few chapters in the Word and then spend some time worshipping either in song or prayer. It has completely changed my life. Now I'm not saying I get up crazy early every morning. But when I do I can feel a difference in how my days go. I get more accomplished. I think the other part is because I'm giving God the best of me. The firstfruits (kjv) if you will. And by giving God my best He gives me His best. It's awesome. God has truly blessed me over the last few months and I can't wait to see what He has next.

Ramblings....