Challenging

So I've been reading the book Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick. Talk about amazing. Thanks for the birthday gift Dan. Just what I needed at this point and this transition in my life. God is challenging me to live as big as He is and not as small as I am. I'll be honest in the fact that I don't know what that looks like. I have no clue what God has for me next. And yeah I'm a little afraid. So let me give you a excerpt from this book.

"it's not wrong to feel fear. It is wrong to let that fear have the last word in your life. The people who accomplish the most astounding things for Gods glory aren't the people who feel the least fear. Often they're the ones who deal with the most intense fear. But instead of letting that fear disable their dreams, they start increasing their capacity for faith. They act on the part of Gods direction they do understand. And they leave the rest up to Him."

Talk about amazing. For so many years i have been held captive by the fear that I'm not good enough. that my past failures will hold me back from future successes. That I am less than I think I am. But I know I'm forgivable, I'm usable, and I'm lovely. When God sees me He doesn't look at what I've done. Rather He looks at what He can do through me if I get my stupid self out of my own way. So my Sun Stand Still prayer is that God will use me to reach people for Him in ways that scare me, in ways that get me good and afraid, because I know it won't be me being successful. It will be God.

God I pray that you will give me the faith to believe you can use someone as unworthy as me to change the world for you.

Rambling....